The best and worst thing happened to me the other day. I should probably start with the best, right?
The BEST: I accidentally left a box of Chick Fil A nuggets in the car all afternoon. It was 95 degrees outside, making the inside liken to the surface of the Sun. By the time I got back in the car to drive my son to soccer, the aroma was off-the-charts awesome. It was like a party in my nose. My car smelled like Chick Fil A all week. Awesomeness.
The WORST: I almost accidentally licked poo off my arm……Weren’t expecting to hear that now, were ya? I’ll give you a second to, uh, digest that info before I explain….
So my 2 year old woke up the other morning ornery as all get-out. When that happens, it is difficult to get him to do anything without it ending with a major meltdown. We were in a hurry, I needed to change his diaper without a meltdown. Usually a ‘one-for-the-money’ style throw onto the bed gets him laughing and cooperative. So that’s what happened, though what I didn’t realize at the time was that one side of his diaper was already undone. (Critical point to the story here). So, we do the one-for-the-money throw, I quickly change the diaper, throw him on my hip and run to the car. Now I’m quickly buckling him in, look down at my left forearm and notice a brownish smear.
As a mother, dealing with smears is quite common. Especially with my kids. I am the kind of mother who bribes her children with chocolate to get them to quickly do what I want. Frequently that involves handing them a chocolate chip granola bar in the car. So….as I’m buckling, and notice the brown smear on my arm, I think…oh, a chocolate chip must have melted on the straps while he was eating the other day and I must have brushed up against it just now…. So I think to myself, (as both my arms are occupied and I’m in a HURRY)…
“just lick it off. ”
This is all happening within nanoseconds, right? As I’m leaning over, literally on-the-way to my arm, something inside me….a little voice of warning, perhaps an angel of gladness, a voice from the heavens?….stopped me in my tracks and said, “smell it first.”
The nose don’t lie peeps….Survey says: POO!!
In that moment, there weren’t enough diaper wipes in the state of Texas…..My hands are rubbing at the skin on my arm so fast there really could have been flames shooting off. As I’m frantically rubbing, I’m shouting, “Eeeeewwwww!” over and over again, and other things like, “GROSS!!!” and “NASTY!” Absorbed as I am in the disinfecting process, I forget my little guy is strapped in right next to me. I look up at him, notice he’s literally grinning ear to ear, and then he says, “NATH-TY!” (I love that he can’t say his ‘S’s’ yet.)
And then he starts belly laughing.
Moral of the story: When you are in a hurry, do not throw your child on the bed with a diaper half-hooked because poo will fall out unannounced to you and you will then accidentally get it on your arm and almost lick it off. The end.
Good News: I wasn’t wearing this when the near-fatal poo incident occurred. I was actually in my gym clothes, exposing said-left forearm.
The Topoxte Tunic is one of my most FAVORITE purchases as of late. It is literally a reincarnation of the Swizzle Stripe Top from last year:
The differences I’ve noticed are that Maeve decided to switch to numeric sizing for the Topoxte Tunic rather than the XS-XL sizing of the Swizzle Stripe, and the Topoxte Tunic in general has less fabric in the front, is shorter, and has sleeves that you can wear long or tabbed up shorter, as I’m wearing above. The colors are so vibrant and awesome. I can wear this with so many different bottoms and shoe options. Highly recommend. For reference, I took a size 6.
Hope we’re still friends despite all the poo talk today. This is life. My good, full, crazy, life in which I just try to keep the poo off my Anthro swag.