I SO Don’t Want That, Vol. 2

Y’all seemed to really like that post I did a while back featuring things I SO don’t want, would never buy, not in a million years, even if you paid me to. So i I thought, why not do another one?

Let’s kick things off with footwear gone wrong, shall we?

Pharaoh Sandals. Total Fugs.

Pharaoh Sandals. I’m pretty sure a Pharaoh wouldn’t be caught dead in these, or would have whomever constructed them executed. Executions aside, who would want two scary eyeballs on your feet staring up at you all day. Creepy.

Radial High-Tops

Radial High-Tops. At a distance, these would make your feet look like they had some real problems.

Urban Outfitters Jeffrey Campbell Rainbow Highlight Platform Sneaker

Urban Outfitters Jeffrey Campbell Rainbow Highlight Platform Sneaker. These are like Punky Brewster shoes on crack. I’d be so ticked if I purchased these and found out later that there weren’t rocket boosters hidden inside, or super springs. Ooh, yeah, super springs that could make you jump over buildings in a single bound. BOING!

 

Urban Outfitters Jeffrey Campbell Mayview Sandals.

Urban Outfitters Jeffrey Campbell Mayview Sandals. Hideous. Truly hideous. Looks like a scary foot surgery bootie that was custom-colored for a New England Patriot’s fan.

Animal Kingdom Gone Wrongers:

Urban Outfitters Reverse Tiger Head Skater Dress

Urban Outfitters Reverse Tiger Head Skater Dress. Of all the items out there in retail world that a lady could spend her money on, why in heaven’s name would it be this?

Quite honestly, the entire outfit is a travesty to mankind.

Quite honestly, the entire outfit is a travesty to mankind. Urban Outfitters Out from Under Tiger Eyes Bra Top

 

It was truly a mystery to her why she couldn't get a date. Was she sending the wrong signal?

‘Mary wondered why her date had ended so abruptly. Why had he looked so unsettled when she took off her jacket and then ordered the Prime Rib, extra rare? Had she come on too strong? ‘           Urban Outfitters Sparkle and Fade Tiger Graphic Dress. I’m pretty sure not even Carrie Bradshaw could chic this one up.

Urban Outfitters Vintage 70's Tiger Print Skirt. Vintage never looked so bad.

Urban Outfitters Vintage 70′s Tiger Print Skirt.
This is ridiculous. It just gives vintage a bad name.

 

Clothes that shoulda never made it to the assembly line:

FP X Shipwreck Sally Dress. I did not make up that product name.

FP X Shipwreck Sally Dress. I swear I totally didn’t make up that product name. $198 dollahs for rags, essentially. Maybe they charged more for the delicate sternum hole?

Holding Horses Embroidered Overalls

You must know how I feel about overalls by now.  Not a fan. This specimen is particularly offensive due to the kangaroo pouches on both hips (congratulations on your weight gain!!) and the way in which the grommets holding on to overly thin straps marks the spot on her lady lumps.                                                                 Holding Horses Embroidered Overalls

FP Colored Army Pant I mean really, what they did to this girl's crotch should be a crime. The poor girl hasn't eaten since January, and they put her in THESE?!

FP Colored Army Pant
I mean really, what they did to this girl’s crotch should be considered a crime. The poor girl hasn’t eaten since January, and they put her in THESE?! Great! Now she won’t eat until December. You think this is bad, look at the backside:

It ain't right.

It ain’t right.

J.Crew Broken-in Boyfriend Chino shorts, colorblocked.

J.Crew Broken-in Boyfriend Chino shorts, colorblocked. Horrible idea. It’s like a blindfold for the crotch.

 

This is what happens when you tell a model in a denim dress to hop a fence and it rips all the way up the crotch in front.

This is what happens when you tell a model in a denim tank dress to hop a fence and the front accidentally catches and rips in a perfect rectangle all the way up to her lady bits. Then you take a picture. F21 Distressed High-Low Dress. I’d say it’s just plain distressing.

 

Accessories that make you scratch your head:

Heart-On-A-String Keychain. Didn't Napolean Dynamite have one of these on his backpack?

Heart-On-A-String Keychain. Didn’t Napolean Dynamite have one of these on his backpack?

 

FP Leather Holster Belt I mean, for Halloween this could be all kinds of sweet for my costume, but seriously...get real.

FP Leather Holster Belt
For Halloween this holster contraption could be all kinds of sweet for my costume, but seriously. Real life? “That’ll be $5.65.” “Okay, just a sec while I put down my baby and reach into my boob holster for my wallet….” P.S. it’s $498!!!

FP Ettika Feather Headdress. Pocahontas is in the courthouse as we speak, filing a lawsuit.

FP Ettika Feather Headdress. Pocahontas called; wants her head thingy back.

 

FP Lost and Found Body Chain. Probably should have left it lost.

FP Lost and Found Body Chain. $880. I kid you not. I HAVE to meet the person who wants to buy this.  And I want to peek in their closet, though I’ll admit I’m a little afraid.

FP Christo Leg Garter. I Don't Understand.

FP Christo Leg Garter. Somebody, anybody, help me understand this.

Hope you’ve been a bit entertained. I for sure have. And a little horrified too. Got any yourselves to share?

xoxo Molly

 

4 Comments

Filed under Fashion, Uncategorized

On the Catwalk.

Exciting news, ladies. So my local Anthropologie store is having a spring fashion show, and guess who gets to play pretend on the catwalk ….

You got it. Moi! I’ll be strutting my stuff down the catwalk with 19 other lovely women this Thursday evening. I’m so excited! I mean, you know…whatever….I walk down catwalks all the time. No biggie. (crickets chirping)

WHATEVER! I can’t play it cool…I’m totally pumped about it! I actually go in today to see what I’ll be strutting in. Can’t wait to find out!! (I may have dropped a hint or two that I wouldn’t mind AT ALL if they match-made me with the Tupsa.:)) My store has 10 employees and 10 customers modelling, and I was thrilled when they asked me to be a part of it!! I can’t wait! I’ll be sure to give a full report and take lots of picks, promise!

Kinda fell off the blogging train this week…let’s just say I got derailed by other priorities. But life still requires me to get dressed…so here’s a few outfits I scooted around in this past week.

Wearing: Top-Anthropologie Scalloped Buttondown, Skirt-J.Crew, Necklace-J.Crew Factory, TIghts-ANthro, Shoes-Chie Mihara Nerito

 

Wearing: Sweater-J.Crew, Shirt-J.Crew Factory, Pants-Gap, Shoes-J.Crew Factory, Earrings-Anthro, Little man in Green-Bankster

 

With a pop of blue on the feet, the outfit kinda came to life.

Wearing: Skirt-Anthropologie Shifting Buttons, Top-J.Crew, Necklace-Anthropologie, Shoes-Sperry, Earrings-Anthro

Happy Monday to you all, and a belated but very HAPPY MOTHER’S DAY to my mommish readers out there!! Hope you were all spoiled a bit. My kids made me awesome origami flowers and bookmarks. MacGyver did me right and cooked an amazing salmon and sea bass dinner. A man who can cook an excellent, tasty meal of fish….that’s just dead sexy, I tell ya.

xoxo

Molly

13 Comments

Filed under Event, OOTD, Uncategorized

Liebster Award

 

Screen Shot 2013-05-05 at 1.26.12 PM

 

Recently, the lovely Jenni of Gnome Lover nominated me for a Liebster Award. Thanks so much, girl!!

Here are the rulesies:

1   Thank the Liebster Blog presenter who nominated you and link back to their blog.

2. Post 11 facts about yourself, answer the 11 questions you were asked and create 11 questions for your nominees.

3. Nominate 11 blogs who you feel deserve to be noticed and leave a comment on their blog letting them know they have been chosen.

4. Display the Liebster Award logo.

5. No tag back thingys.

So, 11 facts about me? Here goes:

1. My family’s nick name for me growing up was Moo-Poo-Paloo or Mollusk.

2. I hate list making and the whole process of organization. (clearly, not left-brained).

3. I make chocolate chip cookies with my original recipe at least 3 times a week. My piano students enjoy them, my kids love them (and grab a spoon for dough every time they hear the sweet sound of my Bosch starting up), and they’re kind of the perfect post-workout snack too. ;)

4. I nicknamed the bunion on my right foot “Paul”, as in, Paul Bunion.

5. Slow drivers send me over the edge.

6. When I was an 8th grade cheerleader, I did a round-off split on the court and  almost snapped the hamstring off my butt-bone. I couldn’t even stand up, had to push myself off the court with my hands and when they helped me up, my hip popped back into joint. My hamstring was hanging by a thread on the x-ray. It took two months on crutches to heal. (Ouchie) Took even longer for my bruised pride.

7. I eat oatmeal for breakfast every day. Love it. I share it with Mr. Banks.

8. Three of my babes were born in a tub. Waterbirth rocks.

9. MacGyver asked me to marry him on a speed boat traveling 35 mph. Honest. Dropped a knee and shouted “Will you marry me?” at the top of his lungs,… while holding on for dear life as we plunged through the waves. Once my brother, who was driving the boat, figured out what was happening, he slowed the boat down.

10. I had braces for two years when I was 12-14….head gear and all (only worn at night, thank goodness!!) ….and I STILL have an overbite.

11. I despise playing strategy games like Settlers of Catan. I’d rather poke my eyes out. Give me games of chance or luck any day of the week.

Okay, now I’ll answer Jenni’s questions:

1.) What is your favorite childhood memory?

I once tandem para-glided in the Swiss Alps with a guide who smoked a doobie right before he looked at me and said, “You Ready?” Not my most prudent moment.

2.) Where is the most amazing place you have traveled to?

Referencing #1 above, the Swiss Alps was absolutely breathtaking and I experienced it on a semester abroad during college. I’d have to say though that Whistler, B.C. takes it, since I traveled there with my MacGyver and our first-born (who was only 10 months old at the time). We hiked in the most amazing terrain I’d ever seen, with the little one our backs in a papoose, every single day. It was glorious.

3.) What is your least favorite household chore?

Cleaning Toilets. Gag!

4.) What is your favorite meal?

I could eat Tepanyaki every night of my life and never get sick of it. Yum.

5.) Why did you start a blog?

My love of all things Anthropologie, connecting with other women who feel the same, and the aesthetic pursuit to go be creative, to make something beautiful, whether it be paper crafting, a new home decor project, or putting together an interesting outfit for the day.

6.) What is your favorite movie?

This is such a tough question. I change my answer every time. Today, I’ll say my favorite movie is Definitely, Maybe. (with Ryan Reynolds).

7.) Do you speak another language?

I speak fluent Anthro. ;) I also took several semesters of Sign Language and German in college. Neither of them stuck.

8.) What is the best deal you have gotten?

At Anthro? Once bought a silk top for $9.95.

9.) What advice would you have given your younger self?

People will both disappoint you and impress you. Choose your company wisely.

10.) Would you travel to outer space, given the opportunity?

Hmm, I’m not really an adventurous traveler. But I’d feel like a real idiot passing up that opportunity. So, yes…I totally would.

11.) Do you like camping?

No! H-no. I sleep like CRAP when I camp, like up-all-night-long. I usually need to pee twice a night and that’s never fun to figure out in the dead of night, with a nippy wind outside no less!

So now I’ll post my 11 little questions to you all, my readers, cause I’m nominating all of you!! Throwing the love right atcha! Some of you have blogs that do or do not link to your comments, and I don’t want to leave anyone out…so you’re all my little lieblings! Shoot back your answers in the comments! My inquiring mind wants to know.

1. Name a habit about yourself you’d like to change and a skill/talent you’d like to acquire.

2. When was the last time you peed your pants?

3. Best/worst vacation you’ve ever had?

4. What are you most annoyed by (today ;) )

5. What event (if any) do you wish you could ‘do over’ in your life?

6. If you could paint the outside of your house any color, what would it be?

7. Have you ever broken a bone (s)? How many and how?

8. Any phobias or irrational fears I should know about?

9. How many pieces of clothing with the tags still on them are currently hanging in your closet?

10. Favorite Anthropologie brand?

11. What’s the best gift you’ve ever given someone?

Thanks again, Jenni. It was good times sharing a little bit about myself and racking my brain for new q’s. Hope everyone joins in! I’d love to get to know all of you a little bit more.

xoxo Molly

 

 

9 Comments

Filed under Uncategorized